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If I Were The Boss of  You

A Southern Woman's Guide to the Sweet Life

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If I Were The Boss of You contains charming reflections, funny observations, and nagging worries we all share about our day-to-day existence. Who we are, what’s important to us, and the small choices we make every day determine the course of our lives. Thompson utilizes her own brand of self-deprecating humor to ponder age-old, big-life questions. “A Chromosomal Point of View,” “The Fake Eulogy,” and “A Smack Down by Jesus” will make you laugh out loud. “Tiny Indignities” will make you cry. “Angels and Aliens” will keep you up in the wee hours wondering what will become of us. No Southern nostalgia, magnolias and moonlight, or voodoo queens here. This is a twenty-first-century, bossy Southern woman’s take on real life.

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Praise  for Melinda Rainey Thompson

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"This writer’s authentic voice reminds me of all the Southern women I have known and loved."

Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump

About The Author

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Melinda Rainey Thompson is the bestselling author of 5 books: SWAG: Southern Women Aging Gracefully (2006), The SWAG Life (2007), I’ve Had It Up To Here With Teenagers (2010),  I Love You—Now Hush (2012), which was a ForeWord Reviews book of the year and a finalist for the Benjamin Franklin Award for humor, and If I Were the Boss of You (2020). Her work has been reviewed by the New York Journal of Books and many others. This Southern writer, humorist, and mother of three has been a staple on the ladies-who-lunch speaking circuit for the past decade. She earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in English from Tulane University and an Master of Arts degree in English from The University of Alabama at Birmingham. When she’s not teaching other people’s children how to write as a Lecturer in English at Birmingham-Southern College, Melinda freelances for magazines and speaks to all manner of gala, conference, fundraiser, luncheon, and dinner attendees all around the country. This allows her children, known to her followers as “The Ungrateful Wretches," to indulge in the lavish lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to. The author is married to Judge Bill Thompson, the presiding judge for the Alabama Court of Civil Appeals. Melinda became an author by accident. When her children were young, she no longer had time for scholarly work, so she found a niche writing humorous essays. She sees herself as a spokesperson for her people: women, mothers, Southerners, and writers of every genre from grocery lists to Great American Novels.

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The Backlist

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Southern Women Aging Gracefully


SWAG is Thompson’s perennially bestselling collection of essays. "SWAGS Are Women like me—Southern Women attempting to age gracefully without any outright sweating,” the author explains. SWAG is a philosophical point of view, a conscious choice about how to live the rest of our lives. The parade only goes in one direction, of course, but it’s the way we walk the parade route that matters.

I've Had It Up to Here with Teenagers


In her inimitable style, Thompson makes I've Had It Up to Here with Teenagers both a humorous rant against teens and a celebration of seeing them rise from the ashes of battle to become well-adjusted, responsible humans. "Parental love is fierce and illogical," she writes. "I think it is the strongest force on earth. It trumps everything, thank God: sleepless nights, hard stadium seats, endless recitals, broken hearts, losing seasons, throw-up viruses, bad grades, poor choices, and everything else life throws at teenagers and their parents."

I Love You—Now Hush


Two of the South's funniest voices have come together to write this hilarious, heartfelt collection of essays about the nature of men and women. From keeping house to romance, from yard work to money, their fresh take on these common arguments will make you laugh out loud and maybe even instill a bit of insight when it comes to the opposite sex. I love You--Now Hush is a pithy, gleeful read that encourages couples to laugh at their differences.

The SWAG Life


Much more than just funny (reason enough to read this, by the way), The S.W.A.G. Life captures what the author says are the "exalted moments of heaven sandwiched right in the minutia of the daily grind.” Women all over the world struggle with the same life questions, and each decade of life brings its own challenges, conversations, and revelations—writing fodder for Thompson and, hopefully, entertaining reading for you!

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